Charlie's eulogy at Vicky's funeral

This is the eulogy delivered by Charlie Muscat at his mother Vicky's funeral at St Joseph's Catholic Church, Rozelle, Sydney, on Tuesday, 20 February 2024.

Someone once said ‘there is no relationship quite like that of a mother and son’.

This was true for myself, John and Rob.

She was the circle of light that our whole family rotated around and she deserved the pedestal we put her on.

Some mother-son relationships are complicated, not ours. Mum made it very simple, she would say “do what I told” and we did.

Experience taught us that it was no use fighting her, she was a force of nature and relentless, anyway we knew in our hearts that everything concerning us was motivated by love and we trusted and believed in her completely.

Mum ran our household in the same determined way she had done everything since she was a young girl.

She operated from total confidence in her decisions, she was brave and when she made up her mind to do something, it was done.

We never wanted for anything and now that we look back at the things she made happen, we are amazed at how, from the wages coming into our household, she managed not only to provide for us but get us the best education, overseas trips, a comfortable home and a wonderful childhood with everything we could have wanted.

Mum was ahead of her time and she didn’t need anyone’s permission to do anything. When she had decided the family would go overseas, she went to the bank manager, convinced him to give her a loan and off we went. She then carefully planned how to pay it back.

When our old well used stove broke, there was no waiting to save up for a new stove. Back to the bank manager she went, took out a loan and conscientiously paid it back.

She did this whenever needed and as those were the days of bank managers that knew you personally, she never had an issue getting a loan as the bank manager loved her.

When it came time to getting our school gear, we made our annual trip by bus to town and into Grace Brothers, this was a gruelling experience.

I will never forget when mum had our purchases at the counter she said to the sales person “I am buying all these thing, watcha gonna give me for free?”

I nearly died of embarrassment, the sales person looked at her with a holier than thou look and said “I’m sorry madam but we don’t do that here at Grace Bros”.

Mum did not budge, she said “I want a free toaster”, by this time I was sweating and looking around wildly for a place where I could hide and never come out.

At the end of our shopping trip, we had all our purchases including the free toaster clutched in mums embrace.

You would think that I would have learned to bargain from the master bargainer herself but it’s quite the opposite.

To this day when my wife Vicky starts to bargain with someone, I immediately start to sweat and look around wild eyed for somewhere to escape. I’ve been scarred for life.

John, Rob and I have very different memories of our dad having had different experiences with him.

It’s not so with mum, we often sat around her dinner table after Vicky and Marianne joined our family and recounted tales of mum.

When they were stories about mum’s, shall we say ‘tough love’, mum would pipe up and say ‘watcha talking about, aaagh’ and deny that ever happened.

We would all look at each other knowingly and laugh which infuriated her further.

To mum, family was everything. As her sons we felt equally loved and protected, she nurtured our differences and helped us become the men we are today.

Her love and respect for each of us encouraged us to feel the same way about each other and as the years went by we grew closer and closer as a family.

We three brothers are best friends, we seek out and love being in each other’s company and although quite different in nature, we think with one mind, our bond is deep and tight.

We have mum to thank for that.

But her family didn’t stop there, when Vicky and Marianne came into her life, as far as she was concerned she also had two daughters.

Vicky and Marianne joined mum’s dinner table, the ‘dinner table’ being both symbolic and a reality, it was mum’s way of looking after her family and heaping on her love like she heaped food on our plates.

Vicky and Marianne were given the mounds of food treatment, asking for one less big serve than they could eat, knowing full well that mum would just smile and add on another two big helpings.

She would cook their favourite dishes and sit back looking at us eat with pride.

When the girls thanked her she would say ‘of course, you are my family and I love you’.

I can tell you that mum did not bandy the ‘I love you’s’ around so this was a big deal.

The girls knew that mum’s heart had opened to them and in return, their love and respect for her grew.

Her greatest pride and joy however were her grandchildren Alexander, Dominique and Isabella.

These three beautiful kids loved their nanna to bits.

They embraced her very Mediterranean, handsy, shows of affection in the form of grabbing their cheeks and saying ‘eye-ma’ (untranslatable Maltese).

Again she showed her love for them through her cooking, making things they loved, even if it meant making several different meals to please us all. She was so proud of them and they understood how deeply they were loved by her.

That knowledge will hold them steady, as it will all of us, now that her earthly presence is no longer with us.

Our mum was generous of spirit and her personality was strong which sometimes led to a duality in her relationships – regardless, everyone here, whether it be family or friends see only that woman of pure heart who touched them in a powerful way.

Mum loved life, she loved people, her church. She loved having fun, she loved laughing and being cheeky.

She told brilliant and funny stories and laughed at her own jokes.

She would have loved hearing all these things about herself and been pissed off that she wasn’t here to cook for you all.

What an absolutely wonderful woman.

That’s how we will remember her.

Rest in peace mum.

Thank you!

Read more: The Life of Vicky Muscat